Sunday, September 26, 2010

Taming my Inner Fat Lady

My inner fat lady (aka:  Rowanda) has been throwing some royal tantrums about going on this liquid diet.  She is totally kicking and screaming about giving up food.  I try to keep her in lock-down but as soon as I turn my back, she busts through my psychological door pleading and begging and blubbering for a double McFish fillet from McDonald's...and she won't let up...she wants fries with that too....supersize.  I wish the bitch would give it up cause she's totally messing with my head.  Staying the course with her ain't easy...

So I've taken to long drives in the country in my Cutie Pie PT cruiser convertible listening to Keith Urban croon to me in his dreamy Australian accent...taken a mile-high bubble bath....painted my toenails gothic black...picked up one of the novels that's been hanging around my nightstand far too long...and even eyed my landscaping...a little weeding might be in order...

Most importantly I spent the evening with a group of women who feed my soul.  And yes there was pizza and beer and chips and hotwings...a gorgeous spread!!!  My inner fat lady actually kicked her heels in joy and licked her lips in anticipation...but I put her in a head lock, poured my protein shake, and settled down for some storytelling, gossiping, & therapy/advice sessions mixed with a whole lotta laughing and hootin'...  And I left there without a morsel passing my lips....content and at peace.  Completely full of love for every last one of them.  Who knew that joy could possibly happen without stuffing your face?!?

Maybe I can do this...


  1. What a powerful feeling! The love of your friends and the bolster of confidence in your own will power! WAY TO GO! Yes, you can do it!

  2. Luckily the liquid diet doesn't last forever.

  3. How is it going? I found the liquid torture got easier the longer I was on it. I hope it is the same for you.