BYOC! A lil late...!

It’s time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy. Five little questions that you can copy and paste into your blog in an effort to get to know each other better and to give your brain a blog topic break!

1. What piece of clothing can you absolutely not live without?
Love love love my hubby's red plaid bathrobe!!!  As a matter of fact, it's not his anymore...because I wear it from the time I come home til bedtime.  I know...not super sexy-but super comforting-like a bear hug and massage in a single piece of clothing.  However, it is a lil awkward to answer my doorbell...

2. If you could go back in time for just 24 hours, where would you go and why?
I would go back in time to ancient Rome and watch a gladiator fight, take a dip in the Roman baths, walk the markets, drink the wine, gorge on olives and cheese, buy a stola and sandals, go to a wedding, spy on the emperor, join an orgy (kidding!)...and try and get a glance of Caesar (for sure!).

3. If you could change one feature of your looks, what would it be and why?
I wish I had narrow feet-not these wide paddles.  But then I would probably own a 5,329 pairs of shoes!  C'est la vie...

4. What things do you enjoy or only do when you’re alone? (All you perverts out there….try to resist the obvious answer here).
Reading, for sure...
Laundry...unfortunately...
Computer stalking...ain't it fun?!?!

5.  Week in blogland:
Reading (daily!) and sharing some...need to work on commenting!!!  Thanks for stopping by!

Skinny B*tch!

That's right-you read that right.  ....DRUM ROLL!!!...  I am wearing size 12 jeans now!!!  Okay-there is a lil muffin top going on, but I can zip and button and sit in them.  Another 5 lbs and the muffin top should be gone.  It is soooooo rewarding (and motivating) to be here... at last!  These jeans are a symbol of my hard work as well as new frontiers to come...  Just gotta keep my eyes on the prize and keep fighting the (never ending-sigh!) good fight.

On another note:  I'm not sure where this came from...  but I RAN three times this week during my daily walks...  Who knew?!?   I am not going to examine this too much but just enjoy this new found burst of energy.  I think I have awakened the inner skinny b*tch.  And she wants to come on out and kick this fat girl's ass in the mall parking lot.  Now that I've lost 28-30 lbs, it looks like she wants to be the boss of me.  I'm not sure how this is gonna play out...but for now she can stay for awhile at least!

I did it...

I kicked January's ass.  My goal was to exercise for 31 straight days.  AND I DID IT, DAMMIT!!!  And ya'll...not gonna lie...it totally sucked some days when it was cold or raining or snowing or I was bitchy and tired and on the... well, you know.  And homework was always waiting when I returned just like the sink full of dirty dishes and the light blinking on the voice mail.  But hey-that's life isn't it?  It never cuts you a break.  And although I just love to bitch and moan and complain...and trust me, I pouted plenty...there's a tiny part of me that actually started to like the peace and freedom of putting in my earphones and slamming the door on the chaos of daily life and letting my feet and mind wander where they will.  On the bad news front I have not lost weight in several weeks now.  But my clothes are looser, my tummy a lil flatter, muscles more toned...  And I am proud of that.  Yes, I have further to go, more goals to make (more on that later...), more lbs to wrestle.  But today, I rest.  And celebrate my victory of mind over matter.

Here's to new horizons in February!

Baby Steps

Living with the band is slowly changing my habits and lifestyle bit by bit.

*Breakfast:  A few bites of leftover pizza.  I had to put away the rest.  It just wasn't gonna go down...not even with that cuppa coffee.  So I called it quits...
*Lunch on the go:  I ordered a chicken sandwich, picked off half the bun, ate a few fries...and I was done.  It took 30 minutes for me to do this.  I used to wolf this meal down (large fries too with a full diet coke) in under 6 minutes...
*Dinner-A few bites of rice, which I didn't enjoy.  So I settled on a salad.  Felt a little stuck so it took 25 minutes to eat half of it before giving up.  Managed to finish it an hour later.

And that's ALL, folks!

So yes, maybe these food choices aren't the perfect "diet" food-but I love how the band prevents me from gorging and binging.  I'm getting there...a few bites at a time.

BTW-I've exercised every day this month!!!  So I bought myself a new pair of yoga pants...and hubby sounds my be-hind is looking HOTTTTT!!!!!

Kissing Onederland

My scales have been kissing onderland (thanks Libby for that expression!) on and off for the past week.  What a tease those scales are!!!  Sitting at 200 lbs is a stalling point for me.  I have been here before....then ballooned again with another 30 plus pounds-in the blink of an eye.  The 200 number makes me nervous and antsy-which makes me wanna snack on salty chips....  Why? Why? Why???  Why is this barrier so difficult-emotionally & physically???  Why do I sabotage myself when I get to this point???  I want to be DONE with this number.  But I'm not eating like it.  On the good news front, I have managed to keep my goal of daily exercising (...and have even liked it a few times...there-I said it).  But I know that I also need to "diet" and eliminate carbs.... the thought of which makes me wanna pilfer my pantry.  So at the end of the day-I need to FIGHT for the the 90's.  And I guess I'm tired of fighting, honestly...  The truth is I wanna slide into the 90's without having to work it...   And we all know that ain't gonna happen....never does.  So  I gotta muscle my way through...  So I'm considering a new goal:  195 by Jan 31st... and that means protein shakes...and control...and perserverance...and saying NO to the salty crap...  and kicking my inner lazy-whiny-fat bitch-to the curb!  ....sigh...  Maybe...

Dysfunctional Scales

I have been weighing myself on an ancient, rusted set of bathroom scales for ages now.  These scales were cheap when I bought them-and have not improved with age.  They're banged and dented and dusty.  But I keep stepping on them anyway.  And in spite of the fact that I have to squint to see the numbers, I have to adjust the needle each time I step on them,  I never get two consecutive readings (she's a fickle bitch!), and they are around 4-7 lbs off (to my favor) from the doc's scales, I cannot throw them away.  And hubby has threatened to on several occasions.  He even wanted to buy me a new set for Xmas.  But the thoughts of losing these scales creates a flutter of anxiety in the pit of my gut.   No!!!!  And start my day without being taunted and haunted?!?  Inconceivable!...  We've been fighting the good fight now for ages.  She's seen me through every horrifying number-back and forth we've made this agonizing journey together.  Simply:  she's been my reality-in spite of her imperfections.  So for the past few days I've been getting up all bleary eyed at the crack of dawn to stand naked (after peeing) on a particular floor tile to weigh in on her after adjusting the needle 7 times (oh! the rituals we suffer....) and because of the dim lighting and the inconsistent readings...she's been toying with me, playing mind games...  but this morning I was ready for her... she can no longer deny the truth.  I am sitting in onederland.   I haven't seen this number since 1998.... I thought this moment would involve a parade, a marching band, a full page add in the paper, and naked cheerleaders.  However, I am feeling a much more quiet and resolute pride than I expected.  Kinda like the climbers who stand on the top of Mt. Everest and report that what you expected to feel is not quite as poignant as expected-considering the mind numbing effort it took to get there.  Because the reality is those climbers have to get down that mountain-a much more difficult feat than the ascent.  And I too have further to go.  But I am here....finally... and glad of it.  And those 'ol scales...fickle-hard-to-please-untrustworthy-bitch that she is... she's gonna be right there with me when we get to the bottom....grudgingly showing me the way.

Oh, %$#!

I nearly blew my resolution on Day 2 of the New Year -that is, daily exercising for 31 days in January.  I had had a great day until my ah-ha moment struck:  church with family, a movie with girlfriends, a late coffee/lunch out...  And then it hit me at 9:22 PM as I sat in my comfy jammies, reliving the day with hubby when a weight loss commercial flitted across the TV screen... Oh, %$#!  I FORGOT!!!...  Hubby and I sit in silence for 5 seconds...when he hollers up the stairs for the boys to get off the XBOX and let your mom do her exercise video!  So yes, I got out of the comfy jammies (ie: put on the bra) and wearily climbed the stairs for a 15 minute yoga session...  and you know what...???  I am sooooooo GLAD I did.  I felt...good...stronger...resolute.  And guess what???  The world will not implode if you exercise after the sun goes down...  Good to know...