I always thought that celebrities who had weight loss surgery-yet wouldn't go on the record-were wimps and wienies and cowards. Until I decided that bariatric surgery was right for me. Then my mind starting churning. What will the hyper critical sister-in-law say? How will I deal with the the hyper concerned mother-in-law who is a worrier-and will put out a prayer APB to the ENTIRE family? Or my stoic family who looks down their noses at "those lazy" people with weight issues? Or my good friend who tells her kids, and then they tell their friends...? and the list goes on. I guess the reason that letting the cat out of the proverbial bag is so difficult is because of the shame I carry about being overweight. Deciding to have surgery means that I've acknowledged some painful issues: yes, I am fatter that I pretend to be; yes, my control and will power sucks; yes, I am easily defeated; yes, I am exhausted and sick of trying; yes, I tend to feel sorry for myself; yes, I eat my emotions instead of dealing with them. And yes-I NEED help. This issue is bigger than me. And therapy is helping me to wrap my brain around some of those issues and to even begin rejecting some of those self defeating thought patterns. Boy-this lifestyle choice is gonna take some work...and courage.
So last week at a girl's retreat, I shared this decision with some important women in my life. And their support and love were uplifting and affirming. And yes, I gave them permission to voice their concerns and to ask questions. Not gonna lie-I have them too. But it was a relief to share this "secret" with women who love me in spite of my shortcomings and are invested in my success and future happiness and trust that I am making this decision for the right reasons. So for all the haters and doubters and energy suckers in my life-screw'em. Because I really don't have the time and energy to spare. And we all know what a waste of time it is to try and please that crowd... Honestly-all I can do is go at this with all I've got. Come what may...or whatever they say.